Bite Me: A Love Story Chapter 21

21. Being the Chronicles of Abby standard The Mopey Monosexuality of an Outcast Cutie CorpseMuch the uniform the guy in Herman Hesses novel Steppen hold backbarian (which every single and moreover(a) admits means, wolf going up the steps) who runs into the scoop in NOT FOR EVERYBODY sign disc overside of the joke Theater, when it comes to romance, I am definitely non on the list. Loneliness is my plus one. bile is my boo.Oh, it was sweet waking up at sundown, nearly in the arms of my sad Lord, snuggled up in our avail shed on the cap. I in on the building block probability shouldnt watch snatched that pigeon knocked step forward(p) from infra the eave and mien of sucked its undersize throat, up to now in my defense, eat is the most important meal of the day, and I swore off any intimacy with feathers because they be nasty. Still, I animadvert Lord soaker would present forgiven me expecto rumpion bloody feathers on his linen trousers if my quarter had nt harshed our search plan.There, now everyone knows. I dumbfound a tail. Which is kinda the reason we had to slide by to the sleep with lair instead of go along our search for the Countess. Foo called conscionable before good morning to say that all the rats had died.So Im like, Non sequitur much, Foo? If you miss me, you dissolve just apologize and kowtow a undersized and well move on.And hes like, No, Abby, you dont understand. Theres something in their desoxyribonucleic acid, they just sort of expire afterward a week or so of creation a teaseyre.And Im like, My poor, sad Foo Dog, are you sure that your mantenna isnt just using light rats to s closure an S.O.S. for a return to tuna fish town? Hmmmm?And hes all, No, Abby, you bedevil rat desoxyribonucleic acid tied in with your vampirism, the same track Chet has gracious DNA.And Im all, Nuh-uh.And hes all, You project to come cover version here. Abby, I know you have a tail.And Im like, Fucksocks, and I offed m y phone.So when gush and I come to in the shed on the roof, Im like, We may impoverishment to check in with Foo.And drench is like, Call him and tell him that in that location are old vampyres here to bully up. He implys to be ready. Well be thither in a some minutes.And Im like, Ill text him. Im not speaking to him aright now.So, like, Tommy showed me how you couldnt run too fast, or psyche would notice something was up, so you had to sort of go in bursts and I wasnt supposed to take off over cars and whatnot because that shit is a executed giveaway that you are nosferatu. Although I did rawr some tourists on the cable car, because they essential it. And if you ask them they will all be, She was trs scary, and bear out in Cowfuck, Nebraska, we know that rawr is totally a thing because we have family values and whatnot.So after running in bursts for like three blocks I rawred down a cab that was halted by my awesome racy powers and the snow-dollar bill I was waving, a nd we rode to the delight lair, where Jared let us in.And Jared was all, OMG, OMG, OMFG, Abs, the rats are deadAnd Im like, non news. Awesome vamp robot plagiarizer move, equals news.And Jared is like, For realz?And Im like, Totes.And he kind of does a gayboy squee that was a little embarrassing, so Im all, Wheres Foo?And Foo comes out of the bedroom and I go to kiss him and he sort of stops and holds up his little blood vials, like, Oh, no kisses, Abby, I have breakables. So I backed off.And hes like, Abby we hire to deepen you back. Right away.And Im like, No way, Foo. I am finished with your petty human weakness.And he like waves to all the rat boxes, and all the rats are just fictionalization in the bottom of them. And Im all, So?And Foos like, They just dropped, within hours of each other. Theres some horror with the vampyre virus.Its a virus? goes Tommy.And Foos all, I dont know exactly what it is, but it binds to the host DNA and it carries the DNA to the infected.An d Im like, So?And thats when Foo blurts out that I have a tail to gorge, and I just want to crawl in a hole and die, except for it being redundant.Then Jareds like, Would you guys like something to drink? whatever blood or something?And Im like, No thanks, I had a pigeon.And Flood is like, Yes, Ill have some.And hes nigh to take a sip from a wineglass that Jared poured, and I debate his fangs, which are trs steamy now that hes not ripping my throat out with them, and hes like, Oh, Abby, if this turns out to be drugged, lodge Steves arms off.And Im like, Kay, whence to Foo, Im like, Rawr. Shut up.And Foos like, Its not drugged.So we tell Foo and Jared somewhat the ship and the old vampyres and how they are here to honest house, and closely what the Kona guy said about second generation vampyres.And Foos like, Thats you, Tommy.And Flood is like, I know. I have to sustain Jody. And you and Jared emergency to get away from this apartment. Go somewhere, baulk until you hear its all clear or the antecede burys.And Foo is like, How did you think to go to the enter anyway?So we told him about Madame Natasha and the drop down ship in the north end of the City and whatnot, and hes all rolling his eyes, because he doesnt believe in magic, despite the particular that hes rolling his eyes at deuce vampyres.And hes like, Did you try the Sunken send?And were like, Whaaaa?And hes like, Its a bar down on capital of Mississippi Street. It was built on top of one of the Gold Rush ships that was abandoned there. You fanny still show the ribs of the ship in the basement.And Floods like, The Sunken Ship? Thats what its called?And Im like, Kind of obvious.And Floods like, We need to go there.And Foos all, No, I have to modify you both back. You could drop any minute.So I go, As if. We have to find the Countess.And Tommys all, After. All that after.So Foo goes, Well, then take these. And he gives Flood and me each a thing that looks like an aluminum flashlight w ith a blue glass erection.And Im all, Uh, we target make up ones mind in the dark, and heat, and we have someone on retainer who smoke see into the future, so, thanks, butTheyre UV lasers, goes Foo, in the marrow of my dismissal. They use them to fuse UV reasonable polymers in vacuum chambers.And Tommy looks at me like, What? And I look at him like, No make love idea.So Foo runs on like, They would just suntan me or Jared if you held it on us, like a high-intensity sunlamp. however youd have to hold it there for about five seconds.So Flood looks at me like, What? And I look at him like, I got nothing. So Foo takes Tommys flashlight from him and he goes, Like this. And he points the flashlight at one of the dead rat boxes and it busts out with this intense blue beam and hiss instant rat charcoal.So Flood and I are like, Oh.You cant just leave them on like the UV jackets. They behave with a capacitor that builds a take and lets go with a two-second burst, but you can proba bly cut a vamp in half in that time. I made them for Rivera and Cavuto.And Tommy goes, Well dont give one to them, for fucks sake, theyre hunting me and Jody.And me, I go.And me, goes Jared. And we look at him. And he goes, Not because Im a vampyre. Because that too large cop hates me. Then he looked discompose and he goes, Hey, you guys, your eyes are bleeding.And I look at Tommy and Im all, WTF?And Foos like, You guys should probably conduct sun-glasses with UV filtering if youre going to use those, or, you know, they could outrage your eyes.So Floods like, Good to know.And Foos like, You should know that they cant go to mist if theyre hurt or under exposure to any significant UV. I tested it with the rats. Which means you cant either.And were all, Uh-huh.And hes like, What will you do?And Flood is like, Were going to the Sunken Ship and see if we can find Jody, and then I guess were going to see if we can get on a pirate ship. What about you?I have to break the lab down first , but I know some guys in my program at Berkeley that have an senseless room. I can stay there.And Flood is like, Take Jared with you. Elijah saw him. Anyone Elijah knows or who knew about him is in danger.And Jared is all, Nooooo, Berkeley is way too butch.So I splain to Tommy, Jared is afraid of butch lesbians. They were invented in Berkeley.And Foo is like facial expression at at Jared, and looking at me, and looking at Flood, and looking at his dead rats, and hes all, Cant you at least(prenominal) leave Abby here and let me change her back?And Flood looks at me and Im all, Bitch, please, I have a light sabre. And I grabbed Foo and kissed him hard, but I could feel him force away.And hes like, Abby, after this is over-And Im like, finger on his lips, Shh, shh, shh, Foo. Do not awkwardize the moment with sniveling. Ive been preparing my whole carriage for this.And I have.So we jammed.And outside Flood is like, You okay?And Im all, Yeah. Do you think Im a freak because I have a tail?And hes all, No, not because of that.Which was awesome for him to say.So we did the low-profile walk to Walgreens, where we bought three pairs of sunglasses and a disposable cell phone for Tommy and I got some Gummi bears, which I am dipping in blood and eating now-biting off their little bear heads. Then we go over to the financial district and we find the bar called the Sunken Ship on capital of Mississippi Street in the old section, and theres a big picture of a sailplaning ship, and THE SUNKEN SHIP is carved in big letters, and were not two blocks from the roof where we spent the night, and Im all, Oops.And Flood is like, Now what?And Im like, Dont you have fake ID? I was kind of bottom with him for pretending to be five hundred years old when we first met, when hes only nineteen.And hes like, No, do you?Yeah. Like six of them. Ill go in and look around.And hes like, Okay.So I start to go inside, where all these suits and citizens are, and I hear, Hey, a girls voice. Qu iet, but like she knows we can hear.And its the Countess, palming a door shut on this below-street apartment. And shes in like black jeans carrying a pair of Nikes, but her hair is all glorious, and in like an instant shes up over the rail, not even piteous the stairs, and in Tommys arms. And it was beautiful, and sad, and I felt my midsection break, but then it was like move for joy, because I really do love the Countess, and I love Tommy, but they love each other, and well-fucksocks.So Im like, Cold-faced killers on the clock, bitches, we dont have time for your bonery right now.And the Countess like lets Tommy go and gives me a big hug and shes like, So, girl-e-girl, the dead thing, it works for you.And Im like, Duh.And she looks at Flood and shes, Im not sure about the tropical thing though.And hes like, Abby sprayed pigeon blood on my pants.And shes like, No, that parts good.And hes like, She has a tail.And Im like, double-dealerThen she looks all sad, and shes like, Tommy, we need to talk.And hes like, No, we need to move.So, while we walk toward the water we explain about the old vamps and the clean up, and the Raven and whatnot.Kayso, now were on the roof of the speak Club, which is a really nice middle school across the street from the dock, and we are staking out the Raven, and from up here we can see into the cockpit, which is like the size of a whole apartment. And theyre there. The three of them and Kona, the blond Rasta guy. Two women and a guy. And theyre looking all fly in their black bodysuits and black trench coats and all. But the tall blond guy has something on the table, a long case, and he takes something out and starts putting it together.Im all, Whats he got?Its a rifle, goes the Countess.WTF? WTF? WTF? I go, A gun?And Tommy goes, Whats with the gun?And Im like, Yeah, guns are for shit on vampyres. Uh, us. I still totally dont want to get shot.And Jodys like, Theyre not going after vampyres.And Tommys like, Abby, would you stop ty ping. recreate?And Im like, RawrAnd Jodys like, Hes leaving the ship.And Im all, WTF?And Jodys all, We have to follow.Kayso, gotta jet. L8erz.